This week’s post is subtitled “Physician, heal thyself”. Even life coaches need some good advice sometimes, so I wrote this for me as well as for you out there!
It’s time to leave. It could be a job, a place, a house, a school or college, a relationship. You’ve made your decision to go for very good reasons: you want to progress, need more money, more space, more peace of mind, you have completed your studies and have to move on, you have had enough. Whatever your reasons, it’s time to go.
Sometimes leaving is easy. Often it’s a challenge. Your reasons for leaving are logical and sound, and the hard part is often leaving the people: colleagues, friends, family, neighbours, classmates, a lover. How can you find strategies to deal with your feelings? What about those left behind too? How do they deal with the gap you left?
Building resilience is the key to dealing with challenging situations. In previous blogs, I’ve written about patience, inner strength, positive affirmations, states of mind, the importance of family and how useful NLP techniques can be in helping you overcome obstacles. Whether it’s you leaving, and it’s hard because you’ll miss the people very much, or whether someone important to you is leaving, I think the following also applies quite nicely to both scenarios.
- Firstly, it’s ok to be upset (for a while). Be easy on yourself. Feelings are good; without them, we are automatons. Acknowledge your feelings. Recognise their significance.
- Later, if you find yourself regularly becoming negative, recognise that state and, in particular what triggers it. Then work on ways of changing it. Practise linking positive thoughts to the situation; physically get up and do something different. These strategies may not work immediately: persistence is required! Little hint: a life coach can really help you with this!
- Be purposeful in your goal-setting and activities. Work on accomplishing something every day, no matter how small. At the end of the day, remind yourself of what you’ve achieved. This will help you to feel motivated.
- Connect with people who can support you when you need it. Build a network of friends, acquaintances and colleagues that you can go to. They will be happy to help, and sometimes, they will need your help too. Good connections are mutually beneficial.
There are also some very practical things you can do too:
- Practise some regular physical activity which makes you feel good. This could be meditation, running, swimming, gardening, Pilates: anything which addresses your physical needs. This is good for building overall, or background resilience.
- Build in some “me time” to your day to do something you enjoy: it could be frivolous or serious. Again, this will increase your general well-being, which, in turn, will help with your ability to cope with difficult situations.
- Take care of your diet. Healthy eating habits will help you feel better mentally and physically.
- Plan how to keep in touch with the people you are leaving/who leave: and do it! Exchange important details, addresses, birthdays, skype details, Facebook, Google+. There is really no excuse in this world of modern technology and social media for not keeping in touch with someone, if you really want to. Be proactive.
Building resilience is good insurance, even when you don’t have any particular issues to work through. Some day, you’ll need to be strong for yourself, or for others.
And don’t forget: feelings and emotions can take their toll. As the rather quaint translation in this week’s photo suggests – be patient, it will pass.