In his book, The Chimp Paradox, Prof Steve Peters talks about how to choose members of your tribe carefully, and I agree with him. You may have more than one tribe: work, family, friends. So, consider the essential members you need to choose to have overall. Then take look at your tribe. Are those essential members already there? Do they mix effectively together? Do they work well together? Do they provide you with what you need? And where do you fit in? How do you contribute? How do you serve them?
I’ve worked in several business environments where members of the tribe were given roles to play that they were clearly unsuited to. They were given those roles simply because they were already there, and it seemed too difficult, for a variety of reasons, to find a new tribe member.
If you were designing your tribe now, what are the essential roles you’d like to have? Here are a few suggestions:
This is the person you go to for non-judgemental comfort. The person who knows you well enough to keep your secrets, the one who’s always there for you, under any and all circumstances.
You need this person around because nothing much drains their half-full cup. This is the person who lights up the room and gets everyone going when energy levels drop.
The one with the knowledge. Some people just know stuff, don’t they? And if they’re not sure, they’ll use their brilliant brains to figure it out. They’ll also share their knowledge with you, and help you to be better at what you do.
Sometimes you need a good old objective viewpoint from someone who manages to detach emotionally. When everyone around is getting wound up, this is the person who cuts through the stuff and nonsense and brings you the logical perspective.
Because it’s sometimes good to chew things over, view it from different angles, have your opinion challenged, often just for the fun of it.
The person who’s always up for a challenge, and who quite often initiates that challenge. This person will usually reply: “come on, let’s do it!” when all around are dithering.
This person always seems to have an idea. They’re creative and definitely bigger picture, rather than detail, so you go to them first, and then develop and refine their light bulb moment.
Of course, you will have plenty of your own ideas about the types of people you need to align yourself with. And with that comes some soul-searching and reflection. Who are you, and what is your purpose? A great life coaching question to begin your search! A life coaching session is a great option to explore this. Why not get in touch and see where the conversation takes you?